All bad habits and weaknesses aren’t created equally. Some of them need that Vybz Cartel-Sammy Sosa strength cream to fade them out of your life! Since that product does not yet exist, I use challenges instead. I’ve heard Zig Ziglar (a veteran in the motivational speaking community) repeatedly say that the only way to get rid of a bad habit or change a particular behavior is to replace it with a new, positive version. It’s not easy. There are so many recommendations out there as to how long this process takes. My take? Well, it takes as long as it takes.
Think about it. I’ve spent a really long time investing in that negative behavior. Yes I used the word “investing” because every time I perform the act, I am adding value to it.
For instance, I have monkey thoughts—very intrusive thoughts that I ruminate upon the more I try not to! Every time I indulge them, I am reinforcing that it’s ok to do so. Is it my intention? Not at all. But this is what is happening. Why then do I expect to break that behavior in, say, only a month? Nope. It’s going to take as long as it takes. The important thing to me is to actively work on it, be kind to myself while I do this, and never give up.
Whenever I am really struggling with changing a behavior, I use challenges to give me that extra umph! Challenges are focused efforts at making change within a specific time frame. I love using three months. I feel it’s enough time for me to make mistakes in the beginning, then slowly get myself into a groove as I progress. I don’t expect to be reformed in three months. It’s just to get me started. And, if I felt that I sucked at it, then I simply extend the time. Practice makes progress! Participating in challenges isn’t a new phenomenon. I’ve done a few and the benefits are such that I will always include them in my personal development toolkit! Not sold. Ok, here goes:
- Committing to a challenge is already half the battle. It shows that you’re serious about getting rid of, or doing better at a particular skill or characteristic and you’re willing to expend the time and other resources to make it happen.
- You get to assess where you currently are. When was the last time you took stock of that particular habit or skill?
- You have to sit and really think about your end game. You may not always finish there but going in with a map of sorts is never a bad idea.
- You get to pick certain thoughts or activities to reinforce. Whenever I pick a challenge, I select about six major behaviors I would like to focus on. I then create sub-behaviors, so to speak. These subs clarify my main point. I do not go overboard so maybe about 3-5 subs. This will be your challenge manifesto!
- Post your challenge manifesto somewhere that is easily visible and increases the likelihood that you will pay attention to it. I post mine next to my mirror. As I get ready, I look at it and might re-read it. This will help you to keep it in mind. Additionally, if as time goes by, you feel something needs to be added or edited, do it. Don’t change the entire thing but keep in mind that this is somewhat of a fluid process.
- Know that you will forget ever so often that you are participating in a challenge and that’s ok. You will mess up more times than not. You can always extend the time frame. Do not give up though. Just keep at it. Keep marking that territory. Soon you’ll own it!
- When you’re done, you will discover some amazing, or even scary, things about yourself. Remember, you are challenging yourself. The way you think, the way you physically and emotionally react to that which you’re choosing to change—all this has been in the making for a few decades. There’s going to be struggle. You’re going to feel as if you’re changing the very core of you, and you may be doing just that! At the end of this though, you get to choose what stays and what goes. You will be transformed!
- Finally, know that you can revisit a challenge at any time. You live life, and sometimes life makes it so that you need to adjust how you approach a certain situation. It’s not a bad idea to check-in with yourself to assess if and how you might need to update the challenge. Revisit it as often as you feel you need to. You are competing with no one but yourself!
One goal of this blog is to document how I pursue progress. So from time to time, I will share with you a challenge in which I will participate. I will call this activity “Challenge Accepted”. AND, I will definitely include a snapshot of what I actually put to paper and stick on my wall. If you’re up to it, maybe you can also participate with me—no pressure.
How do you manage those stubborn behaviors or thoughts? What’s your take on challenges? Share, share!
Best,
Olanta
Photo by Bethany Legg © 2016-2017 Just Me, Maybe You, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED