A Man Almost Died

What are our options when we are tested beyond our limits?

This post might be a bit heavy for some folks.  The next three paragraphs details a near-death experience.  There’re not gory but feel free to skip those paragraphs if you think it might be too much for you.  There’re still loads of useful information that you can glean from the rest of the post.

Recently, I witnessed a man attempt to take his own life. I was driving by, on my way to run my usual Saturday errands.  I’d just dropped my daughter off, when I turned the corner just in time to see a man dart across the street from a nearby building.  Curiosity prompted me to look to my right.  The scene was such: one man was half dangling from a piece of fabric that was tied to a railing of a porch, a noose tightly wrapped around his neck.  Another man was supporting the suicidal man, trying to prevent him from dropping to his knees, which would have further tightened the noose.  Finally a third man was desperately clawing at the material from the top of the railing trying his best to loosen the knot.

It took a few seconds for my brain to register what I was seeing, and for my first time ever, I dialed 911.  I was explaining what was transpiring when I heard another woman also speaking with them. I mentioned this to the operator then hung up.

By then, the two rescuers were successful in freeing the unfortunate man—the one on the porch had broken the railing making it possible for the one below to loosen the noose.  The suicidal man was now standing.  Not one word left his lips.  He turned in my direction with a dazed expression and I couldn’t begin to imagine what he was thinking!  At one point during the incident, it looked like he was trying to take the noose off but couldn’t, and then he started ‘spasming’.  It was then I thought, “Well, this was it”.

The entire incident was less than five minutes.  As the other passersby had the situation under control, I drove off.  His life was no longer in imminent danger, and while I was still concerned about his safety, I felt my continued presence would seem somewhat ‘gawkerish’.

I mention this episode because it came on the heels of something I was going through. You see, earlier that morning, I’d left the house in a foul mood.  I’d found myself in a difficult and familiar place where, in the past, my emotions were more often the champion over my rational self, which would then wreak havoc on my overall wellbeing.  While I was not about to fall back into that dark place, I did dance along its precipice that morning.

Have you ever faced a problem where the only way out of it was to go through it, and the very thought of going through it made you either rationalize keeping the problem or give up throwing everything out with a resigned “to hell with it all”?

Yeah…my headspace was toxic that morning.  Then I witnessed this incident and I am reminded that solutions to problems are many, some of them permanently ending the problem, some of them permanently ending you.

We cannot always escape our troubles. Some of us work with, live with, gave birth to, signed a lease with, opened a business with our troubles.  Some of us might have experienced or participated in something that, although in the past, still haunts us.  I do not have a definitive response to what one should do to make life more agreeable in the face of trouble.  I do know that when I was struggling, I focused on taking care of my mind, body and spirit.

The image of that writhing man will stay with me for a long time.  I certainly did not wallow in my own issues that day.  They seemed…trivial in light of what I saw.  I know that in the grand scheme of things, they ARE trivial.  I believe quite a few of our problems are like that but we are so close to them that they’re all we can see.  We need perspective.  I’ve often used the following questions to gain perspective when I’m overwhelmed by life’s stresses:

  1. What is the issue?
  2. Is the issue really a problem?
  3. Can I get rid of the problem?
  4. What are the ramifications of getting rid of/keeping the problem?
  5. Are all parties involved willing to adjust their behaviors?
  6. If the situation cannot be changed, how can I adjust my views/attitudes on it?
  7. How can I ensure I do not loose ‘me’ as I work through this problem?
  8. What resources do I need to help me through this problem?
  9. What resources do I actually have at my disposal?
  10. How can I gain the resources needed to help me through my issue?
  11. How can I ensure lasting change?

Coincidentally, two days prior to this, I’d read an article in the New York Times by Sabrina Tavernise about how suicide rates had “surged to its highest levels in nearly thirty years” in America. Research also shows that he will probably try again. I have no clue what stressors led him to make the decision to end his life. But, perhaps the acts of strangers rushing to save him might give him pause. Perhaps having done it, he might re-think trying again. Am I naïve to hope this?

My prayers go out to him.  If you should ever feel so trapped by your problems, try helping someone out with theirs. Being of service to someone else can mean so much to that individual. We all need help from time to time. You may gain new perspective with your own situation. Depending on how you help, you may find that the break from your issues and the knowledge that others are also in need, might give you renewed strength and purpose with your own troubles.

On a final note, I am no expert on suicide. If you do feel overburdened by life stresses, enough so that you consider suicide a viable option, please reach out to someone, a family member, a friend or a professional. In the US, one can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also communicate with someone online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.   It’s a 24/7 hotline and you can call on your own behalf or someone else’s.

I’m always open to tried and true, or unique takes on handling stress. Please share yours.

Thanks for reading,

Olanta

Photo by Olanta Chandler, The Cloisters, NY; © 2016-2018 Just Me, Maybe You ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

4 thoughts on “A Man Almost Died”

  1. Very insightful, loved the list, this can be applied to a variety of situations for proactive and positive outcomes.

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