I love the high of happy! Despite all the anxiety talk, being happy is my go-to state. I’m a chatterbox. I love to laugh and I love making others laugh. Of all the emotions I experience, happiness is my favorite. I talk a lot about anxiety because I believe it is at the root of some of the stumbling blocks in my life, and as this is a blog about pursuing progress, I feel it’s necessary to discuss the ways I’m handling it to move forward. But guys…for the past ten weeks, happiness has been front and center in my life. So basically, my emotional grid has been registering feelings of contentment, peacefulness, and gratitude along with manageable interruptions of anxiety for ten weeks. Folks, this is major! Yup…I’m definitely happy!
“Well Olanta, it’s easy to be happy when your life is going amazingly well.” Surprise! My life is still my life—not a train wreck but not perfect either. Yet, I’ve managed to wrangle the ruminations and calm the compulsions. It’s not like I haven’t been working on getting the negative in check. But I’ve entered crunch time. I honestly think one of the catalysts to my new state is that I’ve recently put a deadline (my next birthday) on getting certain things in my life together and I’m allowing no room to deviate from that plan. There is this urgency now that I cannot ignore and it feels empowering not draining. Is it my anxiety in disguise? Maybe, but this I can manage. In fact, I think this is perhaps a positive function of anxiety.
I am experiencing such a mental and emotional shift that I honestly didn’t think was possible. For anyone who reads this, please know that all your handwork and perseverance WILL pay off. It took me a few years to get to where I am now so don’t give up. Currently, I am so committed and focused on my birthday and the goals I’ve attached to it. Now, when anything threatens to throw me off, I start belting out the words of Matthew Wilder,
“Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride,
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh no, I’ve got to keep on moving.
Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh no, I’ve got to keep on moving”
These last ten weeks are a testament to a cycle of success and failure that I know is far from over. This cycle is necessary—I recognize that now. Growth happens there. Every new technique I learn or insight into myself adds to my cache of skills that I can apply to pursuing the things I want and thus be more proactive in the unfolding of my life as opposed to being reactive.
If you’ve read my previous posts, you know I’ve been going hard from all angles. So the list below is more of an update to what I’ve already been doing along with some new revelations or realizations. I’m curious about your thoughts on them. Here goes:
- Relinquish control of certain things. It took me a long, long time to get this. Now, I’ve taken a step back from a few situations and it’s amazing. I cannot will change where change is defiant. Accept this and keep it moving.
- Take stock of what you can change and go after them with a vengeance! For me, it’s absolutely necessary to achieve certain career goals by my next birthday.
- Cultivate realistic expectations. This comes with time and through experience. Eventually, your perception of life will change.
- Open yourself to new experiences. If what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working out, then shake off your previous inhibitions/constraints and try something different.
- Figure out what throws you off course (your triggers) and learn to manage them. This one takes practice. If I notice something that I know will throw me off course, I put up metaphoric blinders. Ain’t nobody got time for distractions.
- Commit and focus on the process as well as the end game.
- Acknowledge the bad but don’t stay stuck for too long.
- Give yourself that “don’t you dare” speech when facing a challenge. I experienced one recently and had the strongest urge to indulge in old habits. I literally told myself, “Don’t you dare do that! Hell no, We aren’t going down that road! Don’t you dare! NO, NO, NO!!!” Said that a few times and then I was good.
- Find a suitable distraction for when you hit a challenge or when you encounter a trigger. One of mine is music. If I’m dealing with a mild to moderate trigger, I pull out my headphones. If it’s more serious then it’s the “don’t you dare” pep talk followed by music.
- Simplify. I triaged my life and decided to put certain things away for now. I feel the relief of not being burdened by the unnecessary.
Each one of these points is a post on it’s own so definitely look out for them. I have in fact addressed a few of them in previous posts. This here is an overview of where I am now and what I’m doing.
Earlier this month, one of my subscribers suggested I read Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. I just finished this weekend (because I actually have the headspace and time now) and it literally describes what I’ve been doing over the past few years, as well as what I’ve been writing about in this blog! I’m going to write a post about it. The changes I’ve been implementing in my life were largely guided by instinct and refined through trial and error. Reading the book now is great because it explains the why behind it all!
Anyway, thank you for reading! Please share your experiences about how you felt when things started coming together. If you’re still struggling, let me know the angst behind that as well. I am but one member in the personal development community. When you share, I learn and when I share, you learn.
Thank you,
Olanta
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